


hollow (like a grave)

by BansheeLydia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Hurt Isaac, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Fire, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:08:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BansheeLydia/pseuds/BansheeLydia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camden leaves with a quick hug, a drag of his knuckles over Isaac’s scalp and a ‘stay out of trouble, kid’.  Derek leaves for college.</p>
<p>And then it’s just Isaac and his dad and the freezer in the basement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hollow (like a grave)

**Author's Note:**

> please read the end notes for trigger warnings before reading.

Isaac’s mom left when he was eight.

He remembers the last time he saw her clearly; he’d been wearing his favorite pajamas with the dinosaurs on them and his mom had read him his favorite story about the hungry caterpillar. She’d tucked him in, kissed his forehead, told him she loved him, and switched on his night light before closing the door behind her. His dad thought he was too old to be scared of the dark, but his mom always let him have his night light. 

When he’d woken the next morning, he hadn’t sensed anything wrong, not at first, with that kind of naivety that kids have. His mom usually woke him for school, but his night light was still on despite the sun streaming through the blinds. He’d climbed out of bed and padded downstairs, passing his brother in the hallway. Cam’s eyes were red and his hands were in fists which was weird because Cammie was twelve and never cried. Isaac had said his name, but his brother had just pushed past him, snatching up his backpack and practically sprinting out the front door. It slammed shut behind him and Isaac had known something was wrong, had bit his lip as he shuffled into the kitchen for breakfast.

Except there were no bowls on the table, no packed lunch ready for him on the counter, and his mom wasn’t in there like she _always_ was, pouring juice for him. Instead, there was just his dad, sat hunched over the table, turning a ring over and over in his fingers.

“Dad?” Isaac had whispered. “Where’s mom?” When there was no response, he’d asked, louder, more scared, “Where’s mom?”

His dad had looked up then, right at Isaac. His eyes were red like Camden’s and he stared at his son with something that Isaac had never seen before, something that he couldn’t put a name to until much, much later.

Blame.

He didn’t say a word, though. Just clenched his hand in a fist around the ring and stood, leaving the kitchen. He didn’t look at Isaac again and he heard the door slam again. Slowly, Isaac had shuffled forward, towards the piece of paper on the table. He didn’t understand what was written down. He didn’t understand any of it, didn’t understand what was going on.

He just knew that his mom wasn’t coming back.

Two weeks later, his dad locked him in the freezer for the first time.

-:- -:- -:-

When Isaac first meets Derek Hale, he’s eleven and he almost spits out his mouthful of soda when he turns and sees a strange kid in the doorway.

“Who the hell are you?” he demands.

One eyebrow raises but before the other boy can say anything, Camden comes in and rolls his eyes at Isaac, dragging his knuckles over his brother’s scalp with a smirk as he passes.

“That’s Derek, dumbass. Relax, he’s not gonna steal our valuables.”

Isaac scowls at Camden, embarrassed. _Derek_. Camden’s spoken about him here and there, his new best friend. They’re both on the basketball team and Camden’s never really at home anymore, usually hanging out with Derek or his girlfriend. 

Camden stopped spending much time at home a while ago, after mom left. He usually leaves early for school and doesn’t come home until really late. It’s not like their dad really cares; he barely even notices. So long as Camden’s getting good grades at school, performing well on both the basketball and the swim team, and isn’t getting himself in trouble, his dad’s happy. He’s always happy with Camden.

It’s Isaac who gets the full force of his dad’s anger and resentment, especially after he quit his job as the swim coach, instead taking on a job at the cemetery. It’s Isaac who spends most nights in the freezer, who has bruises he tries to hide, and it’s scary how it’s just life now. How the hollow pit of fear in his stomach never goes away. How he makes sure he never gets in trouble, unlike most kids his age, makes sure he does all his homework and gets the grades that keep his dad off his back.

Sometimes, he looks at Camden, and he wants to tell him. He opens his mouth and the words are _right there_ , but they never come out. He can never bring himself to tell him. They’re not really close anymore; they talk, here and there, and they sort of live around each other in the same house, but they’re not close. Besides, what could Cam do? He’s bigger than Isaac and he’s cocky and confident and acts like he has the world at feet, but he’s still just a fifteen year old kid. He couldn’t do a single thing and there’s no point risking his dad turning his fists on Cam, too.

“Where’s Andrew?” Camden asks. He always calls their dad by his real name behind his back, but it’s always ‘dad’ or ‘sir’ to his face. He’s kinda arrogant these days, but he never disrespects their dad.

Isaac looks at the schedule on the fridge. “Work,” he replies and feels a rush of relief at that. Dad won’t be home until late and he’ll be tired, exhausted enough to just eat and go to bed. So long as Isaac’s got supper waiting and has done all his homework...

Camden grabs two sodas from the fridge, tossing one to Derek, who snatches it easily from the air with one hand. “Playstation?”

Isaac looks up. He’s never played on Camden’s playstation before; it’s kept locked away in his bedroom and they don’t hang out anymore, not like when they were younger.

“Can I join?” he asks before he can help it.

His brother looks at him, then at Derek, who shrugs, so Camden says, “Yeah, whatever.”

Isaac trails behind them as they go upstairs to Camden’s room. They joke about school and sports and their other friends, Camden shoving Derek in response to a joke about him and Derek tripping him in revenge. They talk about girls, too, about Camden’s girlfriend of the week, and Derek’s grinning as he mentions he’s got a girl too. Isaac stays silent. He wants to join in, but he’s not in high school, he can’t really offer anything, and he knows Cam will make fun of him for just being a kid.

Camden only has two controllers, so Isaac mostly sits on the floor, kicking away smelly socks and boxers and a pair of pink lacy underwear because _gross_ , and watches them play. Cam and Derek elbow at each other and bicker as they play, giving ridiculous smack talk that Isaac rolls his eyes at. Just as his butt starts to go numb, though, Derek pauses the game and holds the controller out.

“Here,” he says. “Kick his ass.”

Camden lifts his middle finger in response and Isaac grins. It takes him a while to get to grips with the game, but once he gets the hang of it, it’s fun, and he gets lost in swapping insults with his brother and trying to beat him. In the end, he _does_ kick Cam’s ass, and as his brother bitches and scowls, Derek smirks and gives Isaac a high five.

It’s kind of awesome.

-:- -:- -:-

When Isaac’s fourteen, he realizes he’s bi. And it’s entirely Derek Hale’s fault.

He sees Derek more days than not. Camden’s settled better into his skin, knuckled down for stuff like finals, but he doesn’t really have much time for Isaac. Derek’s over a lot, usually when dad isn’t home since the two blatantly don’t like each other, and he always has time for Isaac. He tolerates him hanging out with them, he chats with him and he actually seems interested in what they’re talking about, not just humouring him. Isaac has his own friends, but he finds himself hanging out more with Derek, who’s older but still feels like a real friend.

So when he starts to realize his attraction towards guys as well as girls, it doesn’t take long for him to realize his attraction towards _Derek_. Towards his stupid eyebrows and the stubble he’s trying to grow out and how fucking _muscled_ he is. He’s seen him in the locker room a few times and almost had a meltdown. It’s almost embarrassing because of course Derek’s oblivious, and of course he’s still just as nice, still tolerant of their banter and bickering even after what happened to his family, even with the weight of finishing high school dragging him down.

Camden knows, of course. He teases him about it, sometimes, when they’re fighting over something stupid like the TV remote or the dishes. And Isaac wonders, angry and resentful even though he knows it’s not his brother’s fault, how he could pick up on something like that but still not realize the stuff that’s going on in the same house. How he can see Isaac terrified of even going into the tiny shed in the yard and not wonder _why_ he freaks out at tiny spaces. How he can be in his room doing homework and practice finals while Isaac’s in his room nursing a split lip.

Isaac’s there at Cam’s graduation, next to his dad. He finds himself clapping louder for Derek than he does for his own brother, and he doesn’t care. 

Camden signs up for the military and their dad couldn’t be prouder and Isaac can feel the weight of his dad’s disapproval and disappointment about him, can hear the words his dad _doesn’t_ say as he praises Camden and brags to everyone else. Camden leaves with a quick hug, a drag of his knuckles over Isaac’s scalp and a ‘stay out of trouble, kid’. Derek leaves for college.

And then it’s just Isaac and his dad and the freezer in the basement.

-:- -:- -:-

Isaac doesn’t know how he knows.

He wakes up one morning in the Fall of his senior year and he just... _knows_. Can feel it like a ghost behind his ribs, a weight clinging to his back. He drags himself out of bed and he goes through the motions, even as it stays there in his mind and in his heart, hollowing him out.

When they get the news, when Camden Lahey is officially declared dead, Isaac doesn’t break down. He doesn’t cry. He can’t cry. He just stares at his dad, watches the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes and the slight wobble in his jaw, but he doesn’t give into his emotion. 

_Lahey men don’t cry_ , his dad’s voice flashes through Isaac’s mind, followed by the _crack_ of a belt, and he swallows, drops his gaze to the floor as his dad reaches for a bottle of whisky with a trembling hand.

Later, he pays for Camden’s death. Because it’s his fault. It’s always his fault. His dad doesn’t say a word, but he feels the accusation, the resentment, with every hit of his belt, and as he curls up in the freezer, nails ripped and bloody and sore, he squeezes his eyes shut.

_Always his fault_.

Derek’s there at the funeral. He stands quietly, hands clasped, sombre and pale as the coffin’s lowered into the ground. 

They don’t say a word to each other, but Isaac moves closer to him until their elbows touch, and it’s comforting. It shouldn’t be right, feeling better at his own brother’s funeral than he has done in weeks, months, years, but there’s something about Derek that’s grounding, calming – anchoring.

Later, at the wake, Isaac’s standing quietly by the kitchen door, watching all the people offer their condolences to his father when Derek appears beside him. 

“I miss him,” Isaac says quietly. It’s the first word he’s spoken in days and the words taste sour in his mouth. “We were never...but he was my brother. I miss him.”

Derek doesn’t speak for a moment. He looks different, older...tired. Isaac had heard about his sister, killed by their own deranged uncle two years ago. He wonders how Derek carries on with all that weight on his shoulders, how he can lose so many people, see much death, and still carry on forward. 

“Me too,” Derek finally says, voice quiet. His gaze finally meet Isaac’s and there’s so much understanding in them that it cuts the younger man to the core.

“He was the only thing I had.”

He expects confusion, expects Derek to ask, but he doesn’t. There’s a horrible kind of understanding on his face that makes Isaac feel sick to the stomach. He stands still as Derek reaches out, gently lifts Isaac’s wrist so he can look at the ring of bruises there. He brushes his thumb over them once before meeting Isaac’s gaze again.

“I never noticed,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Isaac carefully pulls his hand free, shoving it into his pocket. “What difference would it make?” he asks, bitter. “Camden knew.” 

He realized long ago that there was no way Camden _didn’t_ know. Not the way he tiptoed around their father, made sure to do as he was told and keep up his grades. The way he always kept out of their dad’s way and, later, as Isaac thought about it, how he’d distract him sometimes with talk of sports or work. Those nights, Isaac usually escaped punishment. He knew. But he never said a single word.

“Why didn’t he say anything?”

Derek’s expression is so gentle it almost wrecks Isaac. “I don’t know.”

Isaac looks away, at the picture on the mantel of his brother in his uniform. “I guess I’ll never find out.”

“I’m sorry,” Derek says. 

“It’s not your fault.”

“Tell someone,” Derek urges, voice quiet but strong. “Get out. Just...Camden would want you to get out.”

Isaac doesn’t look at him. Camden probably would have wanted him to get out, get away. But Camden also knew and never told anyone. Camden never tried to fix that distance between them. 

“You were his best friend,” he says and Derek hesitates before nodding. “Did you really know him?”

“I don’t think anyone really did.”

“No,” Isaac agrees. He looks up. “Thanks for coming, Derek.”

Derek’s mouth tips slightly in response, a smile so full of sadness it’s almost a grimace, and they stand there in silence in a house that feels more like a grave than a home.

-:- -:- -:-

Andrew Lahey dies three weeks after Isaac graduates from college.

Killed, crushed by the digger in the cemetery. A freak accident. Once again, Isaac’s surrounded by people in black, mourning a man they thought they knew. 

Isaac can only stand to be in the house for a week before he takes off with only a duffel bag of clothes and a car to his name. He doesn’t know where he’s going, doesn’t know what he’s going to do, but he knows that for the first time, he truly understands why his mother left. The feeling of getting away, of being _free_ , is beautiful and euphoric and addictive, and he craves the miles of road stretching ahead of him. 

For two months, he stays on the road, but really it only takes two weeks to know where he wants to be, so when his funds dry up and he knows he can’t avoid his feelings anymore, he digs out the address scribbled on a gas station receipt tucked into his wallet.

It’s late when he arrives at Derek’s apartment building. It’s old, but it’s been renovated, and the elevator is clunky and loud as it takes him up to the top. He knocks on the door and waits. 

When the door opens and Derek appears, dressed in soft sweatpants and a sweater with thumbholes and looking like everything that’s right in the world, something in Isaac’s chest loosens. Derek doesn’t look surprised to see him, just tips his head, indicating for Isaac to come in. 

He knows he’s welcome, but he still lifts his bag and says, “Got a couch I can crash on?”

Derek answers with a smile, warm and easy, and when Isaac smiles back, it feels like the first true one he’s given in years.

**Author's Note:**

> *includes: child abuse, including description of beatings, being locked in a freezer, wounded fingernails, and trauma. 
> 
> allirica.tumblr.com - feel free to send me a prompt or come say hi? :)


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